This Ukrainian Woman is not serious

There has been a story in our Dating agency lately that deserves our attention. I summarize the situation:

Antoine, this is not serious…Do you check the motivation of the girls when they register? Are they there for a serious relationship or to have fun at our expense?”

• Pete

1/ Peter writes us a letter in which he complains about Yulia who, according to him, is not serious:

“You should remove her from the site, this woman is not serious. I write her a message, she answers me with 3 lines after 1 week. Moreover it is she who chose me. And you should see what she answers me… Antoine, this is not serious…Do you check the motivation of the girls when they register? Are they there for a serious relationship or to have fun at our expense?”

We can clearly feel Peter’s frustration. In the same way, we feel that Peter had hopes for Yulia, otherwise his silence would not make him react in such a way.

2/ Now, read the following carefully, it’s worth it.

2 months after Peter’s letter, Yulia accepted a marriage proposal from one of our clients, Bernard.

It must be said that Yulia, like Peter, was communicating with several people at the same time.

So, in response to Peter, Yulia is indeed a serious girl who has registered for a serious relationship leading to marriage.

Bernard will not be able to say the contrary since he proposed Yulia in marriage 2 months after Peter’s letter?

3/ But then, how do you explain that Bernard and Peter have a diametrically opposed opinion of the same person: Yulia?

Do you have an idea?

To get the answer to this question, it is important to understand a concept: Perceptual Positions. I have already talked about it several times in my videos on NLP applied to seduction.

In other words, do you have the ability to transport yourself in someone else’s shoes? It may seem simple but it’s more complicated than it seems at first glance.

You certainly know the saying: “Before judging a person, you should walk at least one mile in his own shoes”.

4/ Let’s do the exercise together:

Try to imagine that you are communicating at the same time with 2 Ukrainian members that we will call Katerina and Tatiana.

Katerina is clearly your favorite, you write her fiery letters every day. Your heart beats wildly as you write her letters that get softer and softer. Katerina seems to understand you as if you have known her forever. In short, it is total happiness with this young Ukrainian woman.

It’s quite simple, with Katerina, the more time passes and the more you feel that she is the right person for you.

The language barrier no longer exists between her and you, you don’t even pay attention to it anymore.

And of course, as the long-distance relationship with Katerina solidifies, you feel less and less inclined to answer Tatiana’s letters…

Yet Tatiana is a good girl, you chose her.

At the beginning, on the paper, reading her profile, she really had qualities that could be a good match for you.

Soft, sporty, even had some rudiments in English to facilitate exchanges.

Katerina, by visiting the profiles, you had not chosen her, too beautiful. She seemed out of reach.

She chose you.

In short, time has done its work, a natural selection was made.

***

5/ Your kindness plays tricks on you…

As you are a nice person, you don’t want to hurt Tatiana’s feelings. You can’t manage to tell her the truth.

The truth is that you are no longer really interested in her.

Even though she is a remarkable woman in many ways.

You are unable to tell her that your choice was Katerina.

So Tatiana, on her side, in ignorance, does not understand what is going on.

While the exchanges had started off at a high tempo, everything gradually deteriorated.

It’s been a week since she sent her last letter and you still haven’t answered her.

She doesn’t understand, she gets frustrated, she ends up calling Boryslava, my wife, to ask her if the men who sign up in our marriage agency are really serious or if they are just there to have fun?

The circle is complete.

***

6/ Some advice

I understand Pete’s frustration as he had real aspirations for Yulia.

It’s really upsetting to lose an opportunity that seemed promising at the beginning.

Peter feels betrayed.

What sort of advice could we give him?

Here is one:

If the gel doesn’t take (french expression), there’s no point in insisting. Focus on the people who are really motivated.

There’s no point in investing emotions and too many feelings in someone who doesn’t share the same drive as you. You’re going to waste time and energy!

And above all, don’t make the mistake of focusing on one person. This strategy doesn’t work, I can tell you from years of experience.

You absolutely must multiply the leads before you find the right person.

And when we talk about finding the right person, this happens after (and only after) having met her face to face.(don’t fall in love over Skype meeting)

That’s why our monthly subscription plan in our agency is the best solution for you. It is this formula that will allow you to multiply the tracks until you find the right one!

Managing Expectations in International Dating

One of the most common pitfalls in international dating is projecting cultural expectations onto people from different backgrounds. Peter interpreted Yulia’s brief responses through his own lens, concluding she was not serious. In reality, she was engaging with multiple matches simultaneously, perfectly normal in a marriage agency context. Successful international dating requires a perspective shift: focus on connection quality rather than message frequency.

The Importance of Patience

International dating is inherently slower. Language barriers, time zones, and logistics contribute to a pace that can feel frustrating. However, this often builds a more solid foundation. Couples who succeed approach the process with patience, openness, and willingness to invest time before expecting results.

Effective Communication Strategies

Write substantive messages: Demonstrate you have read her profile. Ask specific questions about interests and aspirations rather than sending generic greetings.

Be honest about intentions: Clearly communicate what you seek in a relationship. Ambiguity creates frustration for everyone.

Respect cultural differences: Communication styles vary significantly. When in doubt, err on the side of formality and respect, and ask your agency for guidance on cultural norms.

Avoid focusing on one person too early: As Peter’s story illustrates, placing all emotional investment in one person before meeting face to face is risky. Maintain multiple conversations until you have met in person and assessed real compatibility.

The clear lesson from Peter and Yulia: in international dating, assumptions are the enemy of progress. An open mind and realistic expectations dramatically increase your chances of finding the right partner for you.

Distinguishing Red Flags from Normal Dating Behavior

Peter’s story highlights a common challenge in international dating: knowing the difference between genuine red flags and normal communication patterns that simply differ from your expectations. A woman responding with short messages is not inherently a warning sign. She may be busy, dealing with a language barrier, or simply a concise communicator by nature. Genuine red flags, on the other hand, include requests for money, refusal to video call, inconsistent personal details, and reluctance to discuss future plans or meeting in person.

Understanding this distinction saves you from two costly mistakes. The first is abandoning promising connections prematurely because you misread normal behavior as disinterest. The second is persisting with someone who is genuinely not invested or, worse, attempting to exploit your emotions for financial gain. A reputable matchmaking agency provides valuable guidance in navigating these nuances. Our guide to choosing a Ukrainian marriage agency and our article on verified bride profiles explain how agencies help you avoid these pitfalls. A reputable agency provides, drawing on years of experience with cross-cultural relationships to help you interpret signals accurately and make informed decisions about where to invest your time and emotional energy.

Ultimately, successful international dating requires balancing openness with discernment. Be willing to give people the benefit of the doubt when cultural differences might explain unexpected behavior, but also trust your instincts when something feels genuinely wrong. The men who find lasting love through international dating are those who combine patience and cultural sensitivity with clear personal boundaries and realistic expectations about the pace at which meaningful relationships develop across borders.

Why do some men think women on dating sites are not serious?

Men sometimes confuse short replies or different communication styles with lack of interest. Cultural differences, language barriers, and unrealistic expectations about response length or frequency can all contribute to this misconception.

What are common misunderstandings on international dating sites?

Common misunderstandings include misinterpreting communication styles, expecting instant deep connection, not accounting for language barriers, and projecting Western dating norms onto women from different cultural backgrounds.

Should you give up on a match if they send short messages?

No, short messages do not necessarily indicate disinterest. Some people are naturally concise communicators, may be shy, or could be dealing with language barriers. Give the conversation time to develop before making judgments.

How do dating agencies handle complaints about members?

Reputable dating agencies investigate complaints carefully, considering both perspectives before taking action. They look at communication patterns, cultural misunderstandings, and whether genuine effort was made by both parties before deciding whether to remove a member.